It started with a kiss.  Then a hug, a wave goodbye and then...the inevitable tears, and that was just from me!  As a teacher, I am a seasoned expert at first day jitters but sending my first born off to childcare for the first time was an experience filled with unexpected anxiety.  Suddenly it was me on the receiving end of the teachers words of He will be fine.  I know he will be, but what about me!!!

The transition to a new childcare, kindergarten or school can be a traumatic challenging time for children and parents.  However with some simple preparation there are many ways to smooth the transition.

1. Start Early.  Be sure to check out as many centres/schools as possible.  Most places have long waiting lists so to ensure you get a place at the centre you are most comfortable with book early.  Ask other parents in your area about your local centres but be sure to check them out yourself.  Arrive unannounced to be sure to get a realistic view of the daily environament.  Once you have made your decision, visit the centre.  For the first visit, go without your child and get a “feel” for the place.  Meet the teacher, find some things that you know that your child will like. Maybe it has great outdoor equipment, a favourite toy, a friend they already know.  This is the information gathering stage.  The more information you have, the more you can tell your child and the better prepared they will be.

1. Communicate.  Tell your child what is happening.   “Talk up” the transition.  Children hear more than we realise and will sense your anxiety or other negative feelings.  No matter how nervous you are make your child feel comfortable about the transition by making it an exciting occasion.  Emphasize the positives.  Tell them about their teacher, talk about the great things that they will do there and the new friends they will make.  Remind them they are not alone and that many other children will be going through the same experience.  Read books about starting new things. Whilst talking up the situation also be clear and realistic about with what will be happening.  Let them know that the childcare/school is just for kids,  Mums and Dad’s can’t stay with them, but they will be back to pick them up.  The more information they have about what to expect the more prepared they will be for the experience.  

3. Visit.  Most centres/schools have transition programs in place, that include visits and play dates.  Be sure to use these as many times as you can.   Ultimately the aim is for the child to be comfortable enough with their surroundings to be left alone for a whole day, but don’t try to do this straight away.  Have the child visit with Mum or Dad and have a play.    Have a play date, where you leave the child for an hour or two, even if you just go to another room, for this time.  Ask if why you are filling out forms in the office, if the child can play for a few minutes in the classroom.   The more familiar the child is with the environment and people the more comfortable they will feel on the first day.

4. The First day.  Make it a special occasion.  Perhaps a special breakfast or new outfit to mark the occasion.  Allow yourself plenty of time, you don’t want to have to “stop and drop” or rush the moment.  When you arrive, find the teacher and say hello.  That way the teacher is aware that your child is there and will be able to help with the separation.  Find something you know your child will enjoy and try and get them involved in an activity.  Distraction can be your best friend. Stay a few minutes but don’t drag it out.  Say goodbye, but make it quick.  Don’t sneak off without saying goodbye as this can create even more tears.  A quick hug, a reminder that you will be back, have a great day, I can’t wait to hear all about it.  Stay calm, save your tears for the car!!!

5.  Stay Calm and Carry On.  Separation Anxiety.  What to do when there is a problem.

There may be tears but these are generally short lived.  I have never had a child cry for more than 20 minutes after the parents have left.  If you must, call later to see how your child is doing but trust in your child's carer that if they are really distraught they will call you.  If your child seems very upset do not give in!  Stick to your guns.  Stay positive say goodbye and GO!  As hard as it will be, walk away.  Dragging out the goodbye will only make the situation worse in the long run!

This is the first of many “new experiences” in your childs life.